The Sense of Blue Agates
by Artemisdesari
Summary: Even though Fili's life is full of new duties and distractions he would be a fool to think he can avoid explaining what has happened to him. Soul Stones part 13


Even though Fili's life is full of new duties and distractions he would be a fool to miss the way that his mother and uncle look at him sometimes. Even Kili, who can track a deer that none of the rest of them have managed to spot, who rarely notices the subtle emotions of others has noticed their concern. Maja is nearly two, however, before Fili reaches a point where he can no longer avoid explaining what has happened to him.

Thorin is called in to mediate a dispute between the head merchants of two caravans. Usually, this would be Gloin's job since he is the head of the Merchant's Guild, such as it is less than five years after reclaiming Erebor. Gloin, however, has a personal relationship with one of the plaintiffs and has decided that he would rather Thorin deal with the problem instead of having his neutrality called into question. Thorin had wanted Fili to deal with it, but the pair would not hear of it being dealt with by the Crown Prince once they had been told that Thorin would listen to them. Thorin had cursed Gloin privately for days, though the merchant knows them well enough not to take Thorin's moods to heart. Still, Thorin had felt it would be good for Fili to learn how to deal with such things, and two judges are always better than one anyway, and so he had roped the younger dwarf into suffering with him while the pair complained about who had the greater right to transport certain eastern goods. Then began the arguments about one undercutting the other so that it was impossible for him to make any money back on his investment. By the end of the first day Fili had a headache from trying to keep it all straight.

By the end of the third day he's wondering if removing both of their heads is a viable solution to the problem. Judging by Thorin's expression, he's thinking the same thing. They aren't getting anywhere. Galik likes to talk around in circles, always making the same point but in such a way as to make the other, Naav, sound unreasonable even though _he_ is obviously the one most affected by the whole thing. It doesn't help, however, that Naav is Gloin's cousin on his mother's side.

Over the years Fili has become quite proficient at ignoring the crowns of gems he sees about the head of every dwarf he encounters. They are there, and they give him a good insight into new acquaintances, but they are a distraction that he could quite often deal without. It's probably why he is so good at dealing with the elves and Men, for all he has to stop himself from squinting every time he looks at one of the Eldar (and how brightly they glow seems to depend on how old they are), because he doesn't get as distracted by a glow as he does by these glimpses into the deeper personality of the dwarf in question. Which doesn't mean that he does poorly by his own people, Balin has said more than once that Fili is proving to be unexpectedly gifted at dealing with dwarf envoys and the Council of Erebor (half of whom make Fili wish he could resurrect Smaug so that he could feed them to the dragon), he just prefers to be the one dealing with the races not their own.

On day four of the same back and forth, however, Fili tunes out the arguing and looks at the gems that dance about their heads. For all the differences in the two of them, the stones that make up their minds are remarkably similar and he wonders if it is the stones of their hearts that have served to make such a profound difference in the way that the pair of them handle things.

Naav's mind is a mix of blue moon quartz, alexandrite, golden obsidian and hematite. From everything Fili knows of him, he is as skilled a merchant as his cousin (who lacks the blue moon quartz that might have served them better on the quest but makes up for it with sodalite) and has never had to resort to some of the tactics that Galik has been accusing him of when they were in Ered Luin and the journey was significantly longer.

Galik also has a mind of alexandrite and golden obsidian, but those have been enhanced with poppy jasper and black onyx. They have led to some interesting differences between the two and it makes Fili more wary of Galik, especially as the only other place he has seen golden obsidian and black onyx together is Nori's head (and one or two of his apprentices but not even Thorin knows the identity of every member of Nori's network of spies) and he is as tricky as they come. He trusts Nori, however, because even though the other stones of his mind are sapphire and dumortierite Fili is certain that his heart contains as many stones for loyalty as Dwalin's likely does. Nori has also proved his loyalty to the crown more than once. Galik was entirely unknown to them until Erebor had been reclaimed and Fili is certain that he is as very nearly as tricky as Nori is, especially when the poppy jasper is taken into account. A mind that can find an opportunity and use it will always do well, especially a cunning one, but a mind that can do that with the stones that will lead them to seek to increase their own happiness is not one that Fili would willingly trust.

It is this situation which causes him to slip up during dinner that night. His mother insists that the family take a meal together at least once a week, if only so that they all see each other. He is at the table with Arja and Maja, talking quietly to Kili when Thorin announces to Dis that he has had enough of this whole mess between Galik and Naav, which is now beginning to create a divide between the merchants who came from Ered Luin and the ones who have come from elsewhere, and just do away with the pair of them. Tir joins the conversation, coming down in favour of Naav, and Kili leans into him to ask Fili's thoughts. This usually means he wants to know what sort of gems Fili sees in their minds because any decisions he has made based on those over the last several years rarely seem to be incorrect.

"Galik's manipulative," Fili replies. "But that's obvious even without being able to see the stones. Sindri went a bit far with the desire for wealth when he carved that one." The last is said into one of those sudden and unexpected lulls in conversation where the room goes absolutely silent and the quietest whisper sounds like a roar.

"What do you mean by that, Fili?" His mother asks and he feels a lead weight drop in his stomach.

He had hoped to avoid having to explain this to his mother and uncle, though Tir knows because Kili seems incapable of keeping secrets from her these days (a good thing all past actions considered) and she had accepted only after feeling the lingering effects of Mahal's personal blessing during Fili's wedding.

"It's nothing," he replies, and a dark eyebrow arches making his mother look very like his uncle.

"Please, Fili," she says coldly, "don't mistake my willingness to wait for you to be ready to _tell_ me what happened to change you as stupidity." Fili exchanges a glance with Kili. "You've said a great many odd things over the last four years, and for the most part your uncle and I have been happy to wait for you to be ready to talk with us. I think it's gone time we had an explanation, don't you?"

"I hardly even know where to begin," Fili confesses as Arja lays a hand on his. His other hand comes up to fiddle with the earring he still wears, a habit he has gotten into while thinking.

"You could start by explaining that," Thorin says. "We've all noticed that you never take it out."

"Not for lack of trying," Fili grumbles. In truth he hates the dumortierite earring that Durin gave him. Its purpose has been fulfilled but it still lingers in the mortal plane, as intangible as ever. "It is a very long tale," Fili sighs finally, "and one that I still struggle to believe happened even though _I'm_ the one it all happened to."

"Why not start from the beginning," Bilbo suggests gently, "we all promise we'll wait until the end before we start asking questions."

"Speak for yourself," Thorin grumbles and Bilbo smacks his arm.

"We will wait," he repeats firmly. Thorin looks down at his lover for a moment then sighs and waves his hand in a gesture of acquiescence.

"We all know that Mahal carved the souls of the first dwarves, and that he continues to do so," Fili begins. "We know that he shapes our hearts and our minds from stones and gems to form the foundations of our personalities." He hesitates, this beginning is mostly for Bilbo's sake since the rest of them have been taught it from their cradles. "Except for the heart of our One, and our children, the stones of our souls are supposed to be a mystery. Hearts are a mystery, I can only see two of them, but the stones of the mind are completely clear to me. I see crowns of jewels around the head of every dwarf in this mountain."

"Is that why you asked me about the flowers, Fili?" Bilbo asks, apparently remembering the long-passed conversation when Fili was still in the healer's tent after the carnage of the Battle of the Five Armies.

"Yes," Fili replies. "They follow you around just like they do Yavanna."

"How did this happen, Fili?" His mother demands, her concern clear. She doesn't doubt him, he thinks, she fears what this might mean for him. Fears that it might be a sign of a new madness.

"I died," he replies and has to wait for both his mother and uncle to go quiet. "I died," he repeats, "because I made a choice that I thought would keep Kili safer during the battle. It didn't work. In the end Kili, Thorin and I all ended up dead in Mahal's Halls before the Battle of the Five Armies was over. There I was greeted by our Maker and by Durin, himself, who had been watching our quest and the outcome with great interest. Durin was not impressed," he decides to downplay the lecture and language, let them discover that for themselves. Kili snorts, having already heard the less censored version of this tale.

Fili continues, talking a little bit about his decades in the Halls while Durin trained him and waited for the perfect opportunity to sneak Fili back in time, about learning his craft of carving new souls at Durin's side and with some input from the rest of the Seven Fathers. He tells them about the sword techniques he learnt from all of them, though Durin most of all, about encountering Yavanna and the help that she gave them to change the past and why. He tells them how hard he fought to make sure that it happened and then Mahal's visit in the healing tent to praise what he had accomplished.

"And that would be why Mahal blessed your marriage during the ceremony," Thorin concludes, "letting all there to witness feel his presence."

"Yes, Thorin," Fili replies.

His uncle's expression is fathomless, and Fili's heart thunders in his chest. He has Kili's support, his brother was there to see how suddenly he changed during the battle and how much he knew about what was waiting for them in the tower when they hadn't set a foot inside. He has Arja, too, who met Mahal that night in the tent and who wears a black diamond from His Halls in her marriage bead. Tir is silent, she believes them because Kili is so adamant that she should and because the black opals in her mind have always made her more sensitive to such things. He turns his gaze to his mother, who has tears in her sapphire eyes, as she gets up from her chair to pull him into a fierce embrace.

"My son," she whispers, "my poor, brave son."

She believes him, he realises, and remembers Durin mentioning that her heart had black opals inside. She may not be sensitive to these things on an intellectual level as Tir is, but she often knows them in her heart. This, he realises, is something that she accepts because her heart _knows_ it.

"It explains a lot," Thorin says suddenly. "I suppose it was Durin who told you that it was a Balrog that slew him?" Fili nods, remembering _that_ slip as clearly as Thorin obviously does.

"Does that mean you believe me?" Fili asks. "You don't think me mad?" Thorin's answering laugh is almost bitter.

"If you _are_ mad, it is far more harmless than _my_ brief period of insanity," his uncle mutters. "And seems to have no impact at all on your ability to be an heir to be proud of." That is not an expression of belief, but then Fili had expected him to send for guards and end up locked away for the sake of all around him. "As long as it continues that way, I see little harm in it."

For a moment Fili wishes that Mahal would make another appearance, just to make his uncle accept fully rather than indulge him.

"This ability of yours," Tir says, "does it give you an insight into the situation between Naav and Garik?"

"It would incline me to rule in favour of Naav," Fili replies. "Garik's mind is one bent towards manipulation. I would be more inclined to listen to him if he lacked either the black onyx or the poppy jasper. He has both, and it is _not_ a good combination."

"I'm inclined towards Naav, myself," Thorin admits, "although that is partly because _he_ has the more valid complaint, Garik has already put two other merchants out of business using his underhand tactics as well as those Naav is complaining about. Not to mention, Naav has _annoyed_ me less." There is a pause. "As to the rest, you believe it, your wife and brother believe it. Even my sister and Tir believe you. Who am I to argue with all of them?" Thorin asks.

"Thank you, Fili," Bilbo whispers. "I can hardly imagine a world without all of you in it, or what it might have done to me to lose you all. I'm glad you changed it, I truly am."

Fili nods, because he is glad of it as well.

* * *

_**A.N: **_

_Stone Meanings:_

_Alexandrite: Prosperity/victory_

_Blue moon quartz: Skilled communication_

_Hematite: mental strength_

_Poppy Jasper: Increasing personal happiness (the ability to manipulate a situation for personal gain)_

_Golden Obsidian: Finding and enhancing opportunities, especially ones that seem likely to fail at first glance._

_Black onyx: cunning_

_Blue Agate: Understanding_

_Black Opals: foresight, the seer's stone_

_Durmortierite: intelligence, memory, spiritual awakening_

_sodalite: richness of mind_

_Sapphire: Intense concentration._

_According to some sources Sindri was the father of the Ironfists._

_Just Eyes of Ithilidin to go now. I still can't believe how much this verse has grown._


End file.
